Raw Emotions: How to Make Meaning from Pain

Turning raw emotions into an action plan

Emotions, especially the painful ones, don’t just exist to make us miserable (believe it or not). Emotions help us to interpret and interact with the world around us. Feeling bad isn’t always bad for us.

It’s one thing to recognize a problem at the intellectual level; it’s another when this problem also causes physiological changes to our bodies, not to mention our moods. When these things happen together, it’s hard to ignore. Our emotions are like a megaphone, amplifying our experiences.

Painful emotions make us pay attention to the world around us.

It’s what we do with that attention that determines how we navigate the world.

Raw emotion + reaction = too hot

Emotional reaction occurs when we act on an automatic or instinctual level without considering the likely consequences of our actions

If we simply react to raw emotions, we risk recklessness that can make things worse for ourselves and for others. In the worst cases, this can mean violent reaction. However, it can also mean just generally making poor choices.

On the other side of the spectrum, emotional reactivity can mean outright avoidance of serious issues — burying one’s head in the sand, so to speak.

Further, research has suggested that emotional reactivity can cause a hangover effect in which bad feelings linger for longer periods of time with those who were less emotionally reactive.

Raw emotion + inaction = too cold

Emotional inaction is the opposite problem. We can fail to respond to our emotions at all, or respond with willful indifference. When this happens, we allow our uncomfortable emotions to bog us down and make us feel powerless under their weight.

Inaction in this sense doesn’t simply mean physical inaction (which can be an appropriate response to many circumstances). Inaction in this sense can also mean mental inaction, or a failure to process and learn from an intense emotional experience.

While it’s true that bad feelings are at times unavoidable, they don’t have to be meaningless. Becoming attuned to emotions and their causes is a great way to begin the process of building meaning in our lives.

Raw emotion + deliberate response = just right

If emotional reactivity is too hot, and emotional inactivity is too cold, then emotional responsiveness is the porridge that’s just right.

When we are emotionally responsive, we have processed our raw emotions to the extent that we understand them and their root causes. We are not simply lashing out, nor passively suffering, but making intentional decisions based on our emotional input.

This means making thoughtful changes to improve our environment, at whichever level we desire — anything from joining a national cause to making changes inside our own selves.

Emotional responsiveness means we use our emotions as a springboard toward meaningful action.

Raw emotions are our call to action

When something causes you to feel mad, sad, or afraid, I encourage you to explore these feelings. What, specifically, caused them, and is there a productive way you can address this cause (including broader issues that have contributed to it)?

Raw emotion gives us insight into our values, and the convergence of action and values creates meaning.

So how can you turn your raw emotional experience into direct action that can create meaning in your life?

A quick exercise to help create meaning out of raw emotion

Here’s a trick: Envision someone else solving the problem.

Try answer the following questions:

“I wish someone would ______.”

“People need to ______.”

“Why can’t they just  ______?”

Now replace each of these with:

“I will ______.”

In conclusion: raw emotions are an invitation to insight

Emotional discomfort is certainly not a prerequisite for action, and relying too much on emotion to fuel action can lead to burnout. That said, raw emotions are an invaluable tool for our interaction with the world at large, and a great way to help us understand our values and interests and create meaning.

Once raw emotion has helped us identify a problem, we can begin to work towards a solution.

References:

• Suls, J., Green, P., Hills, S. (1998). Emotional Reactivity to Everyday Problems, Affective Inertia, and Neuroticism. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Volume: 24 issue: 2, page(s): 127-136
• Gorski P., Chen, C. (2015). “Frayed All Over:” The Causes and Consequences of Activist Burnout Among Social Justice Education Activists. Journal of the American Educational Studies Association
  Volume 51, 2015 – Issue 5

Photo credits:

• By Nillerdk (Own work) GFDL or CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons