Four Easy Gratitude Exercises . . . And One Hard One

There is a growing body of research that indicates that the cultivation gratitude can improve our psychological, social, and even physical well-being. A few thank-yous can improve everything from our physical health to our social life, all in one fell swoop.

Benefits of gratitude

A few of the benefits include:

Psychological benefits of gratitude

• Improved mood
• Higher energy level
• Increased pleasure
• More optimism

Social benefits of gratitude

• Increased compassion
• Greater openness
• Gregariousness
• A greater sense of connection to others

Physical benefits of gratitude

• Improved immune systems
• Lowered blood pressure
• Better sleep
• More exercise

This is an impressive list (and it’s incomplete). I don’t really need to go into more detail about the benefits of gratitude — the evidence is out there.

There may not be a single action we can take that will benefit our mental health more, and in less time, than the expression of gratitude. It is simply the best return on investment for our mental health that we can find. We can reap the benefits listed about with about 5 minutes of work per week — and it’s work that feels great.

Gratitude Exercises

Here are three gratitude exercises that you can easily incorporate into your life with very little effort.

1) Say a gratitude prayer/mantra

Create a simple gratitude prayer/mantra/statement that you can repeat to yourself daily and/or as needed.

Come up with a short statement of gratitude — one sentence or less —  that sounds and feels good when you say it to yourself. You’ll know it when you’ve found it. You can say this aloud or internally. Speak this phrase whenever you’d like to calm your mind or refocus your energy. Repeat as needed.

If you’re religious, you may already be in the habit of praying on a daily basis, and that prayer may already include gratitude. If so, you’re already off to a great start.

If you’re not religious, or if you don’t like the idea of prayer, you may prefer to think of it instead as a mantra. Wikipedia gives the following definition of a mantra:

mantras are melodic phrases with spiritual interpretations such as a human longing for truth, reality, light, immortality, peace, love, knowledge, and action.

If neither a prayer or a mantra click with you, think of it as a simple statement. Again, less is more. A shorter statement of gratitude will be easier to recall, and with repetition it will come to feel like an old friend.

2) Keep a gratitude journal

Journaling and/or freewriting is a great therapeutic tool . . . if used properly.

There’s actually a body of research to suggest that journaling about negative things can make us feel worse, especially if the negative things are the predominant focus of our writing or if we don’t practice self-compassion while describing these events.

While this may seem surprising, it makes perfect sense — the act of writing in itself won’t make us feel better. Writing is simply a tool to help us be more deliberate with our emotional processing. We still have to choose where to direct our attention.

One of the best ways to nurture well-being is to write down one thing we’re grateful each day. Robert Emmons, the leading expert on the psychology of gratitude, recommends writing down five things we’re grateful for each week.

That’s it — just five things a week.

Keep a notebook by your bed, in your desk at work, or just make a list on your phone. Once a day, jot down one thing you’re grateful for. To help you condition yourself into this habit, it can help to standardize the time of your gratitude journaling — right before bed, right when you wake up, right before lunch, etc. Whatever works best for you.

Do your best not to write the same things every day. New things are happening all the time, and even our most mundane days and consistent relationships are dynamic and changing.  So try to identify a specific thing you’re grateful for each day. This will keep the task fresh, and ensure that you are benefiting from the full effect of the exercise. 

If writing isn’t your thing . . .

You can still practice this exercise even if you don’t want to take up a writing habit. Just do the exercise mentally. I would recommend trying to pair a moment of mental gratitude with a daily task — think of something you’re grateful for every time you brush your teeth or tie your shoes, for instance.

2a) Identify anything you have done to influence the moment you are grateful for

This is an optional add-on for those of you who really want to get the most out of your gratitude journal.

You can increase the feeling of gratitude by identifying how you have contributed to the outcomes and events which you list in each entry of your gratitude journal.

For example, if the initial entry is:

A friend buys you tickets to see a movie you’ve been looking forward to.  That’s awesome — you’re friend is super nice, and the feeling and expressing gratitude is a natural response.

Then you can dig deeper by identifying why your friend has done this kind gesture — it isn’t simply that they know you’ve been looking forward to this movie. At some point, you must have done something for nice for this person, too. How have you contributed to and nurtured the relationship?

It might look something like this:

I’m grateful to ________ for buying my ticket for ________. She has been a friend for years, and I have been a friend to her too by taking care of her dog when she goes out of town for work.

Now you’ve gone even deeper to acknowledge the two-sided nature of this supportive relationship, recognizing that each of you have shared your resources (mental, emotional, or physical) to the other.

3) Write a gratitude letter to someone

Think of someone important in your life, and write a letter to that person to express your gratitude for the positive role he or she has played in your life. The letter doesn’t have to be perfect — you don’t even have to send it. Give yourself free reign to really express your feelings and get the words out. Feel free to be as sentimental or mushy as you’d like.

Your letter can focus on one specific event, or an overall relationship. Just go with what’s natural. There’s no length requirement here, but try to get down at least a few sentences.

Okay, so that’s it — three easy gratitude exercises. Now, let’s move on to the (emotionally) hard one!

4) Read your gratitude letter aloud to the recipient

Now, take the gratitude letter from Exercise 3, and read it to the recipient.

This exercise comes from Dr. Martin Seligman, one of the founders of the positive psychology movement. He refers to it as the Gratitude Visit. It is the most intimidating of these exercises, but also the most profound.

From Harvard Medical School:

When their week’s assignment was to write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude to someone who had never been properly thanked for his or her kindness, participants immediately exhibited a huge increase in happiness scores. This impact was greater than that from any other intervention, with benefits lasting for a month.

This exercise may seem intimidating to you — it was for me the first time I did it, but it’s a very profound exercise that you won’t regret.

In Conclusion

Practicing gratitude — whether it’s a gratitude prayer, mantra, or statement; a gratitude journal; or a gratitude letter or visit — is one of the best tools available for mental health.

I listed a variety of techniques in the hope that one in particular might resonate you. You don’t need to adopt all of them to benefit from the practice of gratitude (though it doesn’t hurt). Further, research suggests that the practice of gratitude is an a example of less is more. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way. Given the complexities of modern life, we can all be grateful for that.

Photo credit:

• Photo by Marcos Paulo Prado on Unsplash